Clair De Lune - Debussy
24 years old. Queer. Indiana/New York. BA in Gender Studies. Counseling student. Germanophile, writer, reader (see my books here), feminist, runner, writer, lover, Nerdfighter. More about me :) In recovery from an eating disorder & PTSD, living with depression. Trigger warnings always apply, please take gentle care. What's up, babycakes?
I am so tired. I woke up too early from a dream, which meant I had only about six hours of sleep (read: not enough). So far today I studied for my lab class, worked on my ethics paper which is really stumping me, had a two-hour video session for a class project, and did some errands. So right now I am taking a thirty-to-forty minute break. I am in my room, I lit a vanilla-scented candle, I have my blue fuzzy blanket and my stuffed dog (Pongo) and I am going to pop in a movie to half-watch or just doze with Bon Iver and Birdy music playing. And then I can finish my ethics paper and study assessment and put away clothes and make dinner.
Put on Kristene Mueller Pandora station
Light vanilla candles
Clean off new lamp from basement and add it to room; yay light
Read and journal/pray about some comforting scripture (suggestions needed please)
Write a letter to four-year-old self (maybe wait to do this until David is around)
Make grocery shopping list
Touch up nails
Note: these things do not have to happen in this order. :)
today: well that started poorly, ha. church was fine. now: clean room. work on croissants with Mom. possibly start using sewing machine. read and/or watch Skins/Heidi while snuggled in chair. bathe Pip. eat a lot for dinner. eat chocolate ice cream. bed early.
p.s. hey laura today is the third anniversary of the day you got the call that Daddy was dying and had to throw shit in a backpack and go straight to the airport to fly home. it’s okay if it’s kind of shitty. february is almost over. hang in there.
Note to self: stop freaking out that you’re making “bad decisions.” You’re 22, unmarried, without kids, extremely luckily debt-free, and right now is the last time in your life you will be that way! So just do things!!
Self-care in the form of cookies, tea, and Doctor Who. (It is stormy outside).
Then: unpack suitcase. Mild futuring. GRE verbal practice.
This coming weekend will be all-day epic studying. And it’s going to be okay.
HOME. Long shower: listen to Mumford and Sons, use scrubby things, etc. Dress in CLEAN oversized tshirt and leggings. Ahhhh. Relaxing music & planning for the next five days. Dinner & Doctor Who. Skyping. bed. PERFECTION