23 years old. Queer. New York. BA in Gender Studies. Germanophile, writer, reader (see my books here), feminist, runner, writer, lover, nerd. More about me :) In recovery from an eating disorder; living with PTSD. Trigger warnings always apply, please take gentle care. What's up, babycakes?
Went out to dinner with boyfriend after a lovely day. Went to the bathroom. Without thinking, I just went on auto-pilot: toilet seat up, paper in the bowl, me on my knees. I was literally 99% there barring other possibly triggering details, but I just stood up and walked out. I don’t want to throw away a good day into a fucking toilet. I’m sick of this shit, and I’m so proud that I had it in me to resist an urge today. 10 days without purging and proud!
That is AMAZING. I am so proud of you. I totally understand about the auto-pilot thing, it happens to me also. Being able to walk away from that is a really huge accomplishment. Good job!!!