wow this is a picture of me in the betweenlife
23 years old. Queer. New York. BA in Gender Studies. Germanophile, writer, reader (see my books here), feminist, runner, writer, lover, nerd. More about me :) In recovery from an eating disorder; living with PTSD. Trigger warnings always apply, please take gentle care. What's up, babycakes?
One of the most painful things is having been a huge part of two little boys’ lives from ages 9 months to nearly four and then not being allowed to see them or talk to them. I wonder if they even remember me.
Every time I see Special K’s “What will you gain when you lose?” tagline, all I can think about is how overwhelmingly paradoxical that idea is. Why is it so commonplace to believe that weight loss holds some key to happiness? Anyone with an eating disorder can tell you that losing weight deprives you of so much life. In turn, you’ll “gain” a built-in calorie counter that will carefully dominate your mind, brittle hair and nails, infertility, constant anxiety, lanugo, organ failure, weak bones, and plenty of other wonderful physical and psychological complications.
Anyone recovering from an eating disorder can also attest that “gaining” is associated with so much more than weight; it’s about getting your life back. I understand that Special K’s target audience is those that want to diet and is not meant to have any association with eating disorders, but can we just stop spreading these misconceptions? You want change? How about you work on your mind.
I love this post, Ashley.
an eating disorder is hating yourself for fifty extra calories, because you ‘didn’t need it’ or ‘don’t deserve it.’
an eating disorder is wishing you could rip out of your skin, tear all the fat off your bones.
an eating disorder is stepping on the scale eight, nine, ten, twelve times a day to see if the number has gone down.
an eating disorder is failing health.
an eating disorder is loneliness, isolation, and misery.
why would anyone want this?