My friend from germany made a twitter and I literally cry at all of his tweets
23 years old. Queer. New York. BA in Gender Studies. Germanophile, writer, reader (see my books here), feminist, runner, writer, lover, nerd. More about me :) In recovery from an eating disorder; living with PTSD. Trigger warnings always apply, please take gentle care. What's up, babycakes?
elytra: the word pinpricking our lips
a walk, a hundred walks
finding a seat amidst the bees
two a.m. in the fields: sparking electric fence
white mare gently tossing her head
and you, quiet.
avoiding enormous snails
(and you cared to hear about them)
our row-boat: your sleeves rolled up
it’s three a.m. now
toes tucked under leg
and the words are dripping off the wall
our lips slurring from tiredness
and still, still, don’t let it end.
other mornings we just Look
not even sure what truth we are sharing
wondering, are we vessels for something greater?
the rain on the boat when everyone else went inside.
the concert, blurred rainbows above
the smell of rosemary on my hands
the arrhythmic bird
simulacrum (an unsatisfactory substitute: anyone but you)
assiduous (working diligently at a task: you and your Kafka)
supine (how we lay beside the church)
the small laugh, the slip of the tongue,
the taken-back words (‘throw him out the window’)
and our attempts
no, we’re not, we’re aliens
guessing the time (your favorite game)
11 pm grass, and we find constellations
you know the names of trees
you know the names of birds
and I tell you stories, names
you give me dinners and midnight cereal
laundry into small hours
holding me up, lay me down in the rain
we agree, this just can’t work anymore
I have to walk back from the concert
now: miles and hours
no more shared laundry rooms
but I will buy you a horse, alien boy
"Sie hat keine Lust mehr auf sich selber."
-Nina Pauer, in Wir haben keine Angst.
(Translation: “She has no more interest in herself.”/”She doesn’t feel like being herself anymore.”/”She doesn’t enjoy her self anymore.”)
|Me:||I mean, it's crazy, but in Germany, you don't have to think so much about whether or not your job will provide health insurance, because they just, like, take care of their sick because it's the right thing to do.|
|Brother:||That's because they don't have FREEDOM over there! They just haven't discovered it yet!!!|
|Me:||Right you are, brother!|
|Brother:||We have so much freedom it hurts! Literally! We have so much freedom, we DIE from it!|
The above article is an update. Her mother went to appeal to keep her out of the psychiatric ward and lost. She will be institutionalized because of her expression of her gender. She will be held until she conforms to male gender and then released to foster care, not her mother who was supporting her.
Please, if you haven’t signed the petition, sign it, reblog it, ask your friends to sign it. We’ve managed to get 40K signatures for a pageant model, we’ve only gotten 11K for a little girl about to have her life ruined. Lets get on the ball and spread the word.
I literally just repeated the f-word until I ran out of breath.
Let me catch my breath. I may go on a cursing spree again as soon as I get it back.
WHY THE FUCK AREN’T PEOPLE REBLOGGING THIS??
Are people serious?
Sweet Holy God. This is an outrage. UGHHHH
May I just state for the record how much I love, admire, adore, and miss the wonderful Jenny? We were basically inseparable for our several months in Germany, and the weekend we spent together in Amsterdam was one of the best weekends of my life. I miss our weekly Sunday breakfasts, our dinner dates to Manufaktur, having lunch every day at school together, going shopping in Stuttgart, swapping DVDs, making fun of bad fashion decisions, on and on and on. I miss Jenny and her brilliance, beauty, nerdiness, compassion, sweetness, manners, stories, silliness, jokes, and hilarious rants so much.
AND I SEE HER IN ONE WEEK YAAAAAAAY
the church bells and the bit of blue sky in my window and a feeling of crispness as I woke up made me wish terribly it was spring again and I was in Germany.
today: hangover meal. tidy room. read Lorde. make German flashcards. dinner. relaxing evening and bed early.
goals: 2200 calories. clean room by the end of the day. lots of Lorde read. all relevant flashcards (midterm Monday!) written up. process last night’s enormous spontaneous PTSD/panic attack?