"EAT

When recovery is not all yoga mats
and tea and avocados, it is work.

It is listening to your body rather
than pretending not to hear her.

It is waking up so hungry, you are
nauseous, but swallowing breakfast

anyways. It is taking an hour to eat a
snack. It is your stomach throwing a

tantrum and telling the acidic voice
in your head she has the wrong address.

Trying to ignore the caloric calculator in my head is like trying to ignore television subtitles.

Every time you asked if I was full, I heard you say fat, and I’m trying, trying so hard not to do that.

This is teaching my body how to forgive.

This is teaching my brain how to apologize."

EAT, by Blythe Baird (via blythebrooklyn)

(via strength-to-recover)

HOW am I supposed to get dressed for church when EVERYTHING makes me look stupid and awful and fat

How to talk to your eating disorder:

recoveryisbeautiful:

How many Calories have I eaten?: Fuck you Ed
I’m Feeling Fat: Fuck you Ed
What do I Weigh?: Fuck you Ed
is my dress size ok?: Fuck you Ed
Thigh gap?: FUCK YOU ED
Stop eating: Fuck you Ed
Look in the mirror: Fuck you Ed
body image distortion: fuck you Ed
I’m worthless: Fuck you Ed.
Always: FUCK YOU ED.

(Source: anabites)

Thoughts this morning:

tangled-up-in-recovery:

Me: Mmmh what could I have for breakfast?
ED: Sshhh.
Me: What?
ED: You’ve had three bowls of cereals last night before going to bed.
Me: Oh, right …
ED: So you’ve already had your breakfast.
Me: …
ED: And the two next ones.
Me: … you know what?
ED: Mmh?
Me: I’m gonna have three slices of bread, mashed banana & peanut butter, a sliced apple, and a nice cup of hot milk with cinnamon.
ED: This is -
Me: And maybe some cereals, thanks for reminding me about them.
ED: But -
Me: Sssshhhhh. I don’t like you.

(via fragile-euphoria)

the irony

courageisgraceunderpressure:

Every time I see Special K’s “What will you gain when you lose?” tagline, all I can think about is how overwhelmingly paradoxical that idea is. Why is it so commonplace to believe that weight loss holds some key to happiness? Anyone with an eating disorder can tell you that losing weight deprives you of so much life. In turn, you’ll “gain” a built-in calorie counter that will carefully dominate your mind, brittle hair and nails, infertility, constant anxiety, lanugo, organ failure, weak bones, and plenty of other wonderful physical and psychological complications. 

Anyone recovering from an eating disorder can also attest that “gaining” is associated with so much more than weight; it’s about getting your life back. I understand that Special K’s target audience is those that want to diet and is not meant to have any association with eating disorders, but can we just stop spreading these misconceptions? You want change? How about you work on your mind.

I love this post, Ashley. 

(via courageisgraceunderpressure-dea)

100reasonstorecover:

Submitted by: sexyhealthygirl

Wouldn’t that be something!

100reasonstorecover:

Submitted by: sexyhealthygirl

Wouldn’t that be something!

(Source: 100reasonstorecover)

212 notes

I dreamed we took off running, together, from the top of a hill, winding down through trees and along small, pretty mountains, fall foliage all over us. Shorts and long-sleeved shirts, our breath showing. You brought apples and bread you had baked because you wanted to feed me, wanted to take care of me, were worried about me, and we ate together at a look-out point, soft cold grass on our legs and a valley down below us. This morning you said, maybe it was prophetic.

I dreamed we took off running, together, from the top of a hill, winding down through trees and along small, pretty mountains, fall foliage all over us. Shorts and long-sleeved shirts, our breath showing. You brought apples and bread you had baked because you wanted to feed me, wanted to take care of me, were worried about me, and we ate together at a look-out point, soft cold grass on our legs and a valley down below us. This morning you said, maybe it was prophetic.

(via archaiques-deactivated20120704)