are you planning on going back and watching doctor who from the 9th doctor onwards once you finish with 11? the character development of the doctor is amazing and important (i think). there's a lot to be gained by doing it in order i think but even if you're not, hopefully you can still go back and get a sense of how the doctor's changed.
I love/am baffled by the concern of strangers on the internet about my Doctor Who experience! Yes, anon, I am planning on going back and watching previous Doctors. Thanks for the suggestion.
“People with eating disorders tend to be very diametrical thinkers-everything is the end of the world, everything rides on this one thing, and everyone tells you you’re very dramatic, very intense, and they see it as an affection, but it’s actually just how you think. It really seems to you that the sky will fall if you are not personally holding it up.”—Wasted (via bulimiserable)
it is your wings that make you beautiful and I could make you fly away, but I could never make you stay you said you were in love with me, both of us know that that’s impossible and I could make you rue the day, but I could never make you stay not for all the tea in China, not if I could sing like a bird not for all North Carolina, not for all my little words not if I could write for you the sweetest song you ever heard
A few people have alerted me to this video of toddlers and you can watch as a little boy hugs a little girl multiple times and each time he does, she pushes him away. A few of the times, he seems to be prompted to continue by the person with the camera. It’s a full two minutes and nothing changes – he hugs her, she pushes him away, he gets up and hugs her again and she pushes him away again.
Clearly this isn’t street harassment because they know each other and it isn’t sexual harassment because they’re toddlers and don’t have an understanding of all that, but it is a problematic situation in which adults are standing by and letting (encouraging?) this little boy to do something the girl doesn’t want him to do and then instead of helping her use her words to tell him to stop, they’re letting her push him down over and over.
The he writes, “I could be the misogynist here and make some comments about just how badly the lady little treats this fine, young man, but women are pretty great. Maybe this kid needs to get a job, buy a sweet ride (Power Wheels, perhaps?) and learn some Karate, proving himself a worthy love interest?”
And I find that very problematic. Implying that this little toddler and all women who reject men are stuck-up, bitchy, and only after good-looking or rich men is harmful. Instead of looking at the actions and saying, this girl doesn’t want to be hugged, they are focusing on the poor boy and how mean she is. She may have 10 reasons or only 1 for why she doesn’t want to be hugged by him and all of them are valid and should be respected.
No means no, even when you’re a toddler. Especially when you’re a toddler. Fifteen percent of sexual assault and abuse victims are under age 12. Teaching kids how to protect themselves at a very young age is crucial to helping them know how to prevent or get help if they are victimized and can teach them skills they can use all of their life.
This attitude that women owe men attention no matter what contributes to how, when some men are ignored or rejected by the women they harass on the street, they call them a bitch, a ho, throw trash at them, chase them, or tell them they were ugly anyway. Instead of thinking logically about all the reasons why a woman may not respond positively to a man who hollers at her on the street, men feel it is an affront on their masculinity and lash out.
Another problematic aspect of the video is the number of people who applauded how persistent the kid is. Some people in the comments of posts talked about being disappointed he never got her in the end. Guess what, you don’t always “get the girl” in the end. No means no! 1,006,970 women and 370,990 men are stalked annually in the U.S. We need to teach kids, especially boys because they are the bulk of the stalkers, not to follow or keep hugging etc women and girls who clearly don’t want that attention.
This is SO important. These kids are learning about how interaction works. This reminds me of how we tell little girls, when boys hit them or tease them, “oh, it just means he likes you!” instead of putting an end to those behaviors (and then when women stay with verbally or physically abusive partners, we shame them for not getting out sooner — logical fail).
Please try to remember that when you clean your room, take care of yourself physically (eat enough, drink water, exercise in reasonable amounts, sleep), carve out alone time, write in your journal, treat yourself (example: long showers, raspberry-scented shaving cream, buffing nails), make time to sing, and get outside, you feel better.
Also remember to buy a fuckton of M&Ms, peanuts, and pretzels and make little bags of them. And remember to eat grapes. Mmm grapes.
And finally remember that sometimes you are too immobilized by PTSD to actually do those things, and that’s okay, as long as you maintain the ability to see a way out.
the fact that your ednos feels like it's shifting back to ana has a lot to do, i bet, with your kicking your impulse to purge in the ass the way you have been. with that impulse a bit subdued, other things rise to the forefront, and it makes sense that you'd be feeling the more restrictive side of things now. please, please, please try to remember how strong you are, and try to see this shift that you're feeling as a sign of the incredible progress you've made, and don't don't don't give in. <3
Wow I had not thought about this at all! Thanks so much for pointing that out to me, that’s brilliant. I am going to really ponder this idea. You’re so sweet and kind and perceptive. Contact me off anon if you ever want to talk. Best to you. xx
I really wish I didn’t have to facilitate or go to dinner with family friends todayyy. I wish I could just put it off. I feel sick, my head and tummy hurt, it’s about a zillion degrees in my bedroom, and I’m trying to get my room cleaned which is taking forever because I’ve been really messy lately, and I’m behind on homework and just UGH NO WHY TODAY?
have you gotten an OK from your therapist/ a doctor on your new plan? talking about it with your therapist and making contingency plans with him/her may help you try to introduce more exercise without precipitating a relapse.
Ha no I haven’t. I will email my therapist right now and we’ll discuss it Friday. Thanks for the reminder. xx
Re: your posted question...why do you feel like you want to restrict? It sounds like that could be your ED talking. Can an objective person think of a reason why you should? (You seem FAR from overweight based on the photos you've posted, and even if you were, giving your history, maybe being overweight is better than a potentially dangerous alternative.) But unfortunately only you can know whether or not you risk going overboard, as you put it.=/ Hang in there!
Definitely true that I want to restrict because I want to lose 4 pounds. Hey objective people — is that reasonable?