I’ve been getting harassed, whistled at, and honked at for at least eight years. I can remember some individual incidents — having a beer can thrown at me when I was 14 and walking my dog. My girlfriend and I (16) being followed down the street by a man talking about how he would “bend us over and fuck us raw” until we ducked into a store and the security guard sent the man away. Trying to cross the street with my 12-year-old campers when I was 17, a car rolling up and a bunch of men inside saying nasty, violent, sexual things to me in front of the children until a security guard came over and threatened to call the cops. Walking to the subway after a choral gig with my choir director and a man hissing “nice ass, bitch” while I (18) walked by. But mostly it blurs together, having happened so often. Normally I feel pissed for a minute and then it goes away. Sometimes I feel frightened, depending on context. Rarely do I feel sad, and rarely am I aware of how demeaning it is.
Today I was whistled at by two guys in a car. (It made the third “thing” from today: one thing said from a car window, one up-and-down + wink, and this.) And I just felt deflated, demeaned, hurt, and sad.
You're so sweet :) To be honest, you're cute as hell. I scrolled through your blog and thought, let your GW go. No progress can be made until you forget it. Stop worrying and smile. :) Enjoy your day, sweetheart.
Ahh no, you’re sweet. And thank you. You’re absolutely right, I need to let my GW(s) go. They just pop into my head all the time! That is something I should focus on doing. Have a lovely evening!
running into Brian this morning singing (singing singing singing. today: James Taylor songs) the existence of caffeine-free diet coke (current meds disallow caffeine) lovely people who send me lovely emails the silly enjoyment of falling for someone ‘ knowing Friend L. is safe & doing well in her new home Friend L.’s book collection being about 15 feet away from my bed