little sinkings in the earth

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December 2011

Fuck bulimia...you are beautiful. You can have ice cream if you damn well please because you're in control, not your EDNOS.

Thank you, sweetheart. I’m really struggling right now but trying not to purge. xx

Nov 30, 2011
#ask
dear laura (tw: ednos)

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Nov 30, 20113 notes
#text #trigger warnings #ednos #ana #mia #mental illness #dear self #recovery #not-purging #fuck you mia
Nov 30, 20115,524 notes
#this has been a really random post #but it felt right #sweaters #photo #image #woman #bedroom #laptop #can I be her? #things I like
:) I love you so much

I love you too sweet thing! xx

Nov 30, 2011

November 2011

Nov 30, 201125,538 notes
#thesis #thesis? #photo #image #text #homework #fuck #week ten let's go #dead week #funny
grr

I have to pee again. And I haven’t had anything to drink at all. I have 1404 words. Should I make myself get to 2000 before I get up and risk losing my lovely, perfect desk?

Nov 30, 20111 note
#it might make me write faster #why do I post so much about peeing? #why do my classes talk about peeing so much? #what is my life? #thesis #library #dead week blogging is the most boring thing ever #text #Booooring!
Jailbreak the Patriarchy → daniellesucher.com

suddeninevitablebetrayal:

an extension for Chrome which will change all gendered-female words on websites you visit to their gendered-male counterparts and vice versa. enjoy :)

oh this is too fun/cool/delightful. mua ha ha.

Nov 30, 20118 notes
#jailbreak the patriarchy #er #i mean #jailbreak the matriarchy #sexism #masculism #feminism #ta-da #link #funny #clever #internet #chrome

Okay, self.

1000 words by 2:25
2000 words by 4:00
2500 words by 4:30 

Nov 30, 20116 notes
#rules #writing #thesis #homework #do it #text #boring #dead week #live from the library iiiiit's laura #week ten let's go
Nov 30, 20116 notes
#Oregon #cemetery #dead week #eugene #image #library #photo #pretty #studying #week ten let's go #wow blogging dead week is so boring I'm so sorry

theatlanticism:

My bladder is probably the size of a peanut, but today it’s like the size of a crumb.

Drinking that glass of strawberry lemonade and then that glass of water with lunch was maybe a dumb idea. I just got settled into writing and suddenly I really really really have to pee which means packing up my entire bag and probably losing my desk. (sigh)

Nov 30, 20113 notes
#gotta pee #fml! #silly problems #dead week #library

coldclearlight:

“Female students, [Buckingham University vice-chancellor Terence Kealy] declares, are a perk of the job for male university lecturers – though they should look, not touch. In an article for the Times Higher Education magazine on lust, part of a feature on the seven deadly sins of universities, Kealey wrote: “Normal girls – more interested in abs than in labs, more interested in pecs than specs, more interested in triceps than tripos – will abjure their lecturers for the company of their peers, but nonetheless, most male lecturers know that, most years, there will be a girl in class who flashes her admiration and who asks for advice on her essays. What to do? “Enjoy her! She’s a perk.” Flashing a few literary allusions, he continued: “She doesn’t yet know that you are only Casaubon to her Dorothea, Howard Kirk to her Felicity Phee, and she will flaunt you her curves. Which you should admire daily to spice up your sex, nightly, with the wife.” Displaying a more surprising familiarity with the etiquette at lapdancing clubs, Kealey added: “As in Stringfellows, you should look but not touch.””

—

Are female students ‘a perk of the job’? | The Guardian

Excuse us while we vomit. How DARE a leader in higher education speak about female students like this?

(via sparkamovement)

can’t even.

just some more thoughts for those discussions we’ve been having lately about being a woman in academia.

Nov 30, 2011231 notes
#academia #ugh #sexism #disgusting #text #no this isn't funny #normal girls? #fuck you #and again I remember that academia was created for not-me
plan

behind the cut because really, who gives a shit?

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Nov 30, 201126 notes
#this is for me #plan #to do #today #go laura go #dead week #let's go week ten
i'm curious... what kind of supplements/vitamins are you taking?

Sure! I take a multivitamin, glucosamine, calcium, vitamin D, and an iron supplement. 

Nov 30, 2011
#ask
Nov 30, 20117,685 notes
#gif #great movies of the world #image #love actually #movies #photo #swallow #gpoy
Nov 30, 20116 notes
#drifting #photo #image #ptsd #dissociation #symptoms #goodbye
“well if you want to have great love, you got to have great anger” —Letter to Eve, Pete Seeger
Nov 30, 20115 notes
#music #love the indigo girls cover #song #lyrics #yes #valid #anger #rage #rape culture #fixing our world #end this bullshit #activism #protest #oh eve you tell adam #pete seeger #folk
a strange moment that I had a few weeks ago

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Nov 29, 20114 notes
#text #homophobic #queer like me #adolescence #my past #realizations #harassment #threats of violence #fear #safety #violence #queer harassment
Listen

Send Me On My Way - Rusted Root

for Katherine’s friend Emma: safe passage.

Nov 29, 20117 notes
#death #friendship #love #grief #pain #mourning #music #audio
Nov 29, 2011244 notes
#photo #text #important #friendship #time #valuable #queue
“Now, I would never tell you to stop spending so much time dealing with other peoples’ horrible trauma, because I might as well tell you to change your name and move to the country of Georgia.” —
Nov 29, 2011
#Friend W #text #quote

barrowmans:

omfg so today I saw a man and a woman holding hands in public, i mean i don’t have anything against heterosexuality but don’t flaunt it in front of me, think of the kids omfg

fucking this. yessss.

Nov 29, 2011230,295 notes
#text #yes #this #exactly this #funny #lgbtqlmnop #gay-park-your-car #queer like me #homophobic #o rly? #you think your opinion makes sense? #LOL NOPE
http://sweatersandsunflowers.tumblr.com/post/13504828982/elytra-reminder-to-self-i-am-more-than-what → sweatersandsunflowers.tumblr.com

sweatersandsunflowers:

elytra:

reminder to self: I am more than what they did to me. I am more than what happened to me.

I think I forgot. Remind me? I have to remember.

You are absolutely more than what they did to you. So am I. So are all survivors. You are an amazing and incredible person and I am so. ridiculously. blessed. to have you in my life. We all need reminding sometimes. YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU my love.

Thank you love. I miss you so so so much. Eep.

Nov 29, 2011203 notes
#text #friend L #survivors #survival #ptsd #rape #sexual violence #csa #ednos #ana #mia #recovery #love #friendship
end of week ten

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Nov 29, 20111 note
#go laura go #work #academia #homework #plans #to do #finals #dead week #week ten let's go
Nov 29, 20118 notes
#shower #beauty products #photo #image #happy #grounding #link #recipe
breakfast

savory cream of wheat, earl grey tea, apple juice, my enormous collection of vitamins and supplements. oh so yes.

Nov 29, 2011
#breakfast #eating #food #fuck you ana #juice #recovery #tea #would nom
Nov 29, 2011203 notes
#photo #image #text #recovery #ptsd #sexual violence #ednos #ana #mia

nerdy-nicole:

A Baptist church in North Carolina has voted to stop legally marrying anyone until homosexuals have marriage equality.

valjeans:

“As people of faith, affirming the Christian teaching that before God all people are equal, we will no longer participate in this discrimination,” the church’s statement says.

The vote was unanimous and brought tears to the eyes of some of the 100 or so members who stood to vote in favor of the “statement on marriage ceremonies.”

image

Nov 29, 201126,925 notes
#queer like me #church #success #although it is not just homosexuals who want to marry people of the same sex #still though #this is awesome #article #link #lgbtqlmnop #gay-park-your-car
Nov 29, 201126,343 notes
#calm #craft #to-do #photo #image #drifting #ptsd #dissociation #flashbacks #survival
Nov 29, 20115,621 notes
#photo #image #drifting #dissociation #lavender #me #ptsd #gone gone gone
every single

sound is too much. I can hear a car on the avenue one block over, the ice tray cracking downstairs, the scrape of slippers on carpet, voices are too loud, my own joints cracking, a car starting up outside, the buzz of the lightbulb, even my own typing hurts my ears and scares me.

and I have work to do.

Nov 29, 20114 notes
#ptsd #hypersensitivity has been my thing lately #every morning the shower becomes too much and I have to turn off the water and breathe for a minute in the middle #text #mental illness #symptoms #sound #noise #pain #nerves
Nov 29, 20118,676 notes
#photo #image #drowning #floods #ptsd #sexual violence #rape #memory #feelings #too many #drowning #drowning #can't breathe
Nov 29, 201156,479 notes
#photo #image #text #no I do not feel better #even though I have stopped screaming #but there's no room or time for any of this #ever #I do not fit #in any place #with anyone #I am too much #always #uncontainable #and I do not know how to exist #LOST #LOST #ptsd #rape #sexual violence #csa #how could they? #all of them? #how? #what did I do? #4 #the number 4 #four #four?
Nov 28, 201170,941 notes
#csa #childhood #sexual violence #rape #photo #image #text #drifting #dissociation #triggers #trigger warnings
ok so (tw: ednos)

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Nov 28, 20111 note
#ednos #ana #mia #eating #trigger warnings #triggers #confusion
Play
Nov 28, 20111 note
#also I like him a loooot #and I can hardly believe this song was just on glee #and then glee does it? #audio #da fuqq #he's pretty great you guys #music #music video #relationships #song #swallow #video #we have the most random song ever #youtube #hall and oates
Nov 28, 2011383 notes
#photo #image #yes you #swallow #enough #kiss #relationships #long distance sucks #fuck distance!
Nov 28, 2011428,003 notes
#photo #image #text #yes #this is true #as much as I can from this far away #and all the others when we're together #sadness #swallow
Throw Yourself Like Seed

by Miguel de Unamuno, translated from Spanish by Robert Bly

Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit;
sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate
that brushes your heel as it turns going by,
the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant.

Now you are only giving food to that final pain
which is slowly winding you in the nets of death,
but to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts
is the work; start then, turn to the work.

Throw yourself like seed as you walk, and into your own field,
don’t turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,
and do not let the past weigh down your motion.

Learn what’s alive in the furrow, what’s dead in yourself,
for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds;
from your work you will be able one day to gather yourself. 

Nov 28, 20112 notes
#poetry #poem #miguel de unamuno #going to smith family was a good idea as always #writing #recovery #ptsd #healing #courage #taking heart #being inspired #he shows this to me and I don't think he knows that
Nov 28, 2011114 notes
#photo #image #winter #drifting #dissociation #ptsd #ptsd ptsd ptsd #bridge #light coming #come december #end #gone #reality? #alive? dead? #memory pain #memory
Asleep The Smiths

anightinhell:

Don’t feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Asleep - The Smiths

Nov 28, 2011579 notes
#audio #music #song #me #feelings #sad #pain #reality? #the smiths
Nov 28, 2011
#photo #image #girl #woman #ptsd #hiding #sexual violence #csa #rape #ednos #ana #mia #too much
Nov 28, 2011369 notes
#photo #image #text #ptsd #rape #sexual violence #csa #ednos #ana #mia #bad things

tooyoungtobeempty:

e-xcess:

He’ll realise I’m not worth it sooner or later. He’ll realise what a mess I am, how much trouble I cause, how much better he could do, how I am too much too much too much. He’ll realise it, and he’ll run.

That’s what they always do.

Always. 6 people left me for this already.

Makes me think of this quote that I identified with:

“I’ve always felt like I was too much. Too emotional, too passionate, too smart, too eccentric. And constantly hungry. Growing up, I thought that if I could curb my appetite, I would also curb those feelings that I wasn’t quite right, that something inside me didn’t match my outside. I hoped that if there were less of me, there would be less of me that felt wrong.” — “Taking Up Space” by Kyle Lukoff (from Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation, edited by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergmann)

Nov 27, 201199 notes
#Anxiety Girl #academia #ednos #gender studies #genderfucking #genderqueer #gpoy #intersectionality both internally and societally #oh snap #quote #recovery #text #the personal is political folks #thoughts #ana #mia
Nov 27, 201179,121 notes
#photo #image #survival #hero #sheroes #ptsd #ednos #ana #mia #recovery #up to me #beautiful #can I be her?
Nov 27, 201118,242 notes
#survival #ptsd #ednos #mia #ana #go laura go #photo #image #gif #rape #sexual violence #rape culture #sexism

fucking done, yes. Headed home to finish Perks of Being a Wallflower & do evening-things.

Nov 27, 20114 notes
#week 10 let's go #dead week #I apologize for how boring dead week blogging is #text #me #Booooring!
it is

5:45. 

by 6:30 at the absolute latest, there will be two new pages of thesis proposal. Yes there will be.

Nov 27, 20114 notes
#dead week #week 10 let's go #text #thesis? #thesis #work #go laura go
Nov 27, 20118 notes
#photo #image #screenshot #multitasking #leeyuh #studying #academia #music #reading #lots of words at once #energy #recovery
yes

I am studying to Ke$ha. And yes…my pants say “WE’LL KICK YOURS” on the ass.

Nov 27, 20119 notes
#gpoy #xc #cross-country #kesha #studying #week 10 let's go
Nov 27, 20117,451 notes
#photo #image #words #text #positive #recovery #ednos #fuck you ana #fuck you mia #I can do this #I must do this
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